Review: Traitor

Don Cheadle shines (as usual) in the most informative thriller you’ll see this year.

Sometimes there are no easy answers. Traitor is either an unevenly paced international spy thriller with too much discussion or the most action-packed International Cultures seminar you’ll attend this year. Finely acted, even-handed, and well-considered to a fault, it’s mature and articulate enteratinment shackled by too many spy movie genre conventions that feel too familiar to take seriously. Luckily it has Don Cheadle, who by now seems incapable of giving a bad performance.

The marketing campaign representing the film as a kind of Middle East Bourne Identity doesn’t do the complex premise and plot any justice. Cheadle plays Samir Horn, a devoutly Muslim but morally conflicted ex-U.S. Army demolitions expert who’s ostensibly fallen into the morally nebulous enterprise of selling explosives to terrorist groups in Yemen and elswhere. Except he’s actually deep, deep undercover and answerable only to a Washington-based intelligence contractor (Jeff Daniels) who hasn’t informed his superiors of Horn’s status. As Horn burrows deeper into a terrorist cell intent on murdering dozens of Americans on Thanksgiving Day, he becomes pursued by a FBI agent (Guy Pearce) with a few theological reservations of his own.

To its credit, the film as written and directed by Jeffrey Nachmanoff forsakes gratuitous action and computer-generated explosions in favor of character development and unadorned, brutal but not graphic violence. The explosions, when they occur, are not used as license for gratuitous gore, either, and the restraint is both intelligent and seemingly deliberate. Even the fist fights are uncomplicated and painful. Two major plot twists late in the third act, while not quite earned by the narrative arc, are nonetheless honestly jolting – you’ll be holding your breath both times.

Ultimately and sadly, Traitor betrays itself when Nachmanoff et al. realize they have to have a movie amid all the foreign policy and theological rumination. And here the generic face of too many of the story elements drag the more intelligent parts down. For however many times you’ve seen Islam objectively presented in a Western action film, you’ve seen the film’s exposition-focused segments at FBI Headquarters and the pat denouement fifty times. The total result is like opening a theology textbook only to find a Robert Ludlum novel squeezed into the middle – or vice versa, because the script wants to walk that fine line all through its runtime.

Nevertheless, the film is redeemed by the strength of its performances. Cheadle plays the tortured Horn as a man  always disconnected from his surroundings. Even his speech patterns are clipped, as he frequently leaves conversations with one crucial line of dialogue seemingly left unsaid. Pearce is oddly compelling as a southern-fried FBI agent in love with Arabic culture. The film’s secret weapon, however, may be Said Taghmaoui as the terrorist cell field leader Omar. Taghmaoui, unforgettable a decade ago as the widowed and grieving Iraqi interrogator in Three Kings, brings the same depth and sense of conflict to this role. He and Cheadle build their characters’ friendship not on bravado or macho posturing but on mutual respect, so that Horn’s conflict becomes that much more tense for the audience to witness. It’s a sublte performance in a film that’s anything but.

Like 2006’s Breach, Traitor is a spy thriller for the audience willing to wait for a payoff. That the payoff is sugar-coated by a flawed and cliche ending is almost inconsequential after hours of gaining insight into one of the largest cultural problems of our age. And as with Breach, it’ll likely be misunderstood by the public expecting something else, becoming a 9.99 DVD in practically no time flat. What a shame. An action film with something besides carnage on its mind – though recognizing that carnage’s indelible human cost - Traitor is worth seeing. Come for the action, but stay for the ideas.

- Michael Kabel
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I Used To Think You Were Cool, Man!

Seven actors who’ve lost their edge over the years – and how they might get it back.

There’s an old saying that when your time comes to sell out, you don’t call it “selling out;” you call it “cashing in.” For many modern film actors (and probably actors of previous eras, though it’s hard to say without proper context) careers begin with sharp and well-crafted projects but atrophy over time into box office schlock. This is especially obvious, and perhaps the career changes seem more disingenuous, for actors of Generation X, who had early opportunities to star in quality independent films but sought more public appeal – and bigger paychecks – as they matured.

We like to think the seven actors and actresses below saw their slow decline into lesser films as merely seizing their chance to cash in. They may very well have had better reasons than money or fame to embrace more commercially viable projects when they did. We should also mention those listed below are not necessarily the actors we feel most egregious in selling out or even the greediest. These are the ones we miss liking, however, or respecting for their choices of roles. They’re in no particular heirarchy, either.

1. Ben Stiller Audiences know him now as: the relentlessly smug star of such romantic and family “comedies” as The Heartbreak Kid and Night At the Museum. But once not long ago he was: an intelligent leading and character actor unafraid to embrace offbeat work in films such as Zero Effect, Permananent Midnight, and Flirting With Disaster. For a little while in the late 90s, Stiller seemed poised to become the Charles Grodin of his generation – and we mean that in a good way. Where it started to go wrong: one could argue as early as 1994, with the meticulously cynical target-demographic marketing of Reality Bites. Realistically, with the juggernaut success of There’s Something About Mary. How to get back: Tropic Thunder won’t be enough. Return to something edgy and smart, and go three movies without sucking in the cheeks and looking painfully startled. And no more romantic comedies. At all.

2. John C. Reilly Audience know him now as: Will Ferrell’s wingman. But once not long ago he was: one of the most promising actors of his generation, stealing films like Magnolia and The Perfect Storm out from under his better-looking co-stars. His pre-Boogie Nights work is especially memorable, including supporting roles in Georgia, What’s Eating Gilbert Grape?, and State of Grace. If you don’t remember him in those films, that’s sort of what we’re talking about when we say the guy could play anybody. Where It Started To Go Wrong: throwing in with Ferrell for Talladega Nights: The Legend of Ricky Bobby. To be fair, though, Walk Hard was pretty funny. How to get back: the comeback may have already started, thanks to this summer’s The Promotion. Failing that, call his frequent costar Philip Seymour Hoffman for comeback advice. That guy apparently holds the Philosopher’s Stone for career renovation.

3. Natalie Portman Audience know her now as: part of any movie based on something with a special display at Barnes & Noble: The Other Boleyn Girl, Goya’s Ghosts, Cold Mountain. But once not long ago she was: the face of future Hollywood, after appealing performances in Beautiful Girls, Leon, and Heat. Where It Started To Go Wrong: the Star Wars prequels; alternately, the lousy Closer. How to get back: eschew all the faux highbrow roles for something with depth and topical resonance. No more period costume pieces.

4. John Cusack Audience know him now as: the astonishingly likeable leading man whose recent films have gone all over the damn place yet somehow remain equally unmemorable. But once not long ago he was: Lloyd Dobler, the one guy that raised the bar for anybody trying to date any woman under 30 throughout the 1990s. Where It Started To Go Wrong: he seems to have perfected his lovesick ex-boyfriend persona with 2000’s High Fidelity. It’s been mostly mediocre romcoms and plodding melodramas ever since. You often get the sense he’s not even trying anymore. How to get back: accept that he’s growing older and take intelligent parts in smart films that don’t cost a pile of money. Of everyone on this list, Cusack likely has the most forgiving fans, and they deserve to see him in a film as good as he can be himself.

5. Steve Martin Audience know him now as: the formerly great actor-comedian-writer taken to slumming in the Pink Panther movies or bullshit like Bringing Down The House. But once not long ago he was: at first, a wild and crazy guy; The Jerk is arguably the funniest movie ever made. Then, mid-career, as the elegant intellectual wit behind Roxanne, L.A. Story, and The Man With Two Brains. Where It Started To Go Wrong: the decline began with 1996’s Sgt. Bilko but got worse with the aforementioned Bringing Down the House in 2003. And of course, the notorious Pink Panther. How to get back: Start writing more personal and articulate movies, as he did with Shopgirl, but cast bigger stars in them. Speaking of Shopgirl…

6. Claire Danes Audience know her now as: the lovely star of My So-Called Life and Romeo + Juliet who’s had trouble transitioning into adult roles. But once not long ago she was: Angela Chase, a female counterpart to Lloyd Dobler if ever such a thing existed. Where It Started To Go Wrong: Danes’ early film work showed promise, if the movies themselves were often too precious by half (To Gillian On Her 37th Birthday, Polish Wedding). Back-to-back flops in The Mod Squad and Brokedown Palace, followed by a hiatus for college, didn’t help. How to get back: head up an edgy cable drama or learn to pick better scripts from among both the mainstream and indie offerings. Also, acting as spokesmodel for Gucci won’t exactly endear her to the general public.

7. William H. Macy Audience know him now as: the fey wimp from 2007’s execrable Wild Hogs. But once not long ago he was: an actor’s actor working with established storytellers (David Mamet) and upstart talent (P.T. Anderson) with equal focus and craftsmanlike technique. Immediately endearing even when playing pathetic losers (as in The Cooler and Fargo) Macy seemed guaranteed to build a long, rich career. Where It Started To Go Wrong: hard to say; his projects have remained diverse for much of the last decade, though in smaller and less distinguished projects. How to get back: IMDB lists no less than five films currently in post-production, though most seem to be weird indie efforts. Maybe see what David Mamet is currently up to, or find the right cable TV project.

- Michael Kabel

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Preview: Righteous Kill

Can a second Pacino-DeNiro collaboration top Heat? Almost certainly not! But it looks promising nonetheless.

It’s an open secret that Al Pacino and Robert DeNiro aren’t what they used to be. Pacino has written too many checks on his “hoo hah” acting account, and DeNiro’s spent much of the last decade making crappy comedies where he mostly just squints and intimidates Ben Stiller or Billy Crystal. In other words, they’re both often seen as either coasting, actively trying to avoid the Thalberg Award, or simply gone greedy in their advancing years.

While it’s not quite the perfect storm of supporting and offscreen talent presented by Heat, their only previous onscreen pairing, September’s Righteous Kill still looks enticing enough to see in theatres. DeNiro and Pacino play veteran detectives (“The Lennon and McCartney of the NYPD”)  who, when a vigilante murder appears identical to one they investigated years ago, begin questioning if they put the wrong man behind bars. Early screenings promise at least one plot twist, as these kind of films seem always to have now.

Ostensibly intended as a twisting story of conflicting loyalties and “shades of gray” veracity set among the police rank and file, the film boasts a script by Russell Gewirtz, who also wrote the Spike Lee bank heist thriller Inside Man. There’s a talented supporting cast, too, even if it reads more like the ensemble of an A-list TV drama than the cast of a major motion picture: Carla Gugino, Donnie Wahlberg, Melissa Leo, and Brian Dennehy among others. That may partly be the decision of director Jon Avnet, who’s directed television both great (Boomtown) and painful (The Starter Wife.) Avnet also directed Pacino’s recent 88 Minutes, which while widely derided as airport-paperback diversionary trash was actually entertaining in its own lowbrow way.

Actually, the film will have to be very good in order to make itself a box office presence. In another September, Righteous Kill might even dominate the new release playing field. But this particular fall it faces stiff competition from more pedigreed projects, including the Coen Brother’s Burn After Reading (with George Clooney and Brad Pitt) and the Ed Harris-Viggo Mortensen Western Appaloosa. Still, twenty years from now (hell, ten) Pacino and DeNiro won’t be remembered for such twaddle as Two For the Money or Analyze That. They’ll be rightly remembered for their classic works, and this one film will likely make little dent in that hindsight one way or another. There’s enough of an afterglow from Heat, Taxi Driver and Dog Day Afternoon and all their other works that’ll draw some audiences back. Even if many of them checked out Burn After Reading first.

The film opens September 12.

- Michael Kabel

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Review: Star Wars: The Clone Wars

Something something something… Dark Side, something something something… complete.

It’s a bit difficult to think of a reason why the animated Star Wars: The Clone Wars was even necessary in the first place. Great piles of comics, novels, and video games have explored the years between the second and third prequels, in which it takes place. In fact, there’s even a cartoon showing Anakin’s exploits during that same period already: a brutally mediocre series of short films broadcast sporadically on Cartoon Network between 2003 and 2005. And God knows George Lucas doesn’t need the money. So why release this stiff, oversimplified hunk of a movie now, in late summer?

Because there’s a similarly-animated TV series debuting in the fall. Marketing trumps integrity at the Skywalker Ranch yet again. A kid’s movie with a heart of lead, The Clone Wars deserves to become a footnote in the already-tattered Star Wars legacy, a curiosity piece alongside The Ewoks Adventures Saturday morning cartoons and yes, even the infamous Holiday Special.

In as much as there is a story, The Old Republic is at war with the separatist Confederacy of Independent Systems, and the Jedi Knights have become military generals for the duration. For Jedi Obi-Wan Kenobi and his former padawan turned partner Anakin Skywalker, this means leading legions of the Republic’s newly-minted clone troopers against droid armies on one of those alien planets where every building looks exactly the same.

Shut up and fight: Ahsoka, Skywalker

Into this fray, incredibly, walks Ahsoka Tano, a - ”sassy” might be the polite term – padawan of Anakin’s own. Why Jedi Master Yoda, in his endless dubious wisdom, would see fit to send a child into a combat zone is never explained. But Tano and Skywalker quickly become inseparable, and insufferable, thanks to a May-August feud that’s at times adversarial but at other times seems to attempt romantic chemistry. It would be creepy enough if performed by real actors; delivered by cartoons, their dialogue is that much more squirm-inducing.

Most of the rest of the film is about Anakin and Ahsoka’s efforts to rescue Jabba the Hutt’s infant son from the nefarious Count Dooku and his underlings, including the serpentine dark side priestess Asajj Ventriss. (Jabba’s son, who looks distractingly like the Slimer demon from Ghostbusters, is really just a cliche sitcom child in the form of a big worm.) More action sequences ensue, including some jarring violence almost totally inappropriate for a PG-rated film. There are moments of clarity, including a potentially thrilling vertical firefight on the side of a mountain, but the scenes never gather momentum before the film lurches away to something else. And there’s always something else, and it almost certainly has its own toy on the shelves of your local Target – a Clone Trooper, a new tank or starfighter, a new character.

A space be 'tween': Ahsoka Tano

Ahsoka, a blatant sop to the all-important tween market, is exactly the kind of precocious upstart her wide eyes and pert expression indicate. She’s always right, no matter how much she spars with the stodgy Skywalker (Anakin Skywalker is the old man now? Anakin? He was the bratty kid himself just nine years ago!) Kenobi, his face hidden behind a beard reminiscent of wood panelling, is reduced to the role of amused outsider. He’s basically the slow-moving cop that shows up at the end to declare “job well done” after the odd-couple Skywalker/Tano pair have saved the day. Such lame storytelling might seem fresh and exciting, but you probably have to be nine years old to think so.

And then there’s Ziro The Hutt, Jabba’s uncle and a crime lord in his own right. Reportedly based on Truman Capote upon orders from Lucas himself, he lisps and sways his way through the film’s final third both treacherous and cowardly.  Ziro actually does sound like Capote, as well as Harvey Fierstein and Charles Nelson Reilly, so that the combined effect is unmistakable. Talk of racial and minority stereotyping has hounded the Star Wars franchise for years, even beyond Jar Jar Binks’ infamy, and Ziro seems bound to include the gay community among its lists of complainants.

Flaming disaster: Ziro The Hutt

Remember when Star Wars was considered a classic, and The Empire Strikes Back maybe even a better film than that? Those days are gone. Star Wars fans have become as battle-hardened as Trekkers in defending their love, and there are inevitably some fans out there who will embrace the upcoming show despite its shortcomings, as they will this movie and the three deeply flawed prequel films that preceed it. When the dust clears, maybe there will be enough money coming in to build a new wing onto the Skywalker ranch. As the Star Wars galaxy continues to diminish from too many trips to the well, Mr. Lucas will at least be comfortable.

-Michael Kabel

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Summer Vacation

We found out long ago, it’s a long way down the holiday road.

We’re going on vacation starting today, and we’re gonna be gone all next week. It’s the end of Elvis Week in Memphis and we’re going to Graceland. (Maybe he’ll show up this year.)

Actually, we’ll return next Friday, debuting a whole round of new movie reviews and some returning features we haven’t done in a while, such as Sequels That Never Were and another list of actors we think deserve more acclaim/popularity/money.

We’ll also have our review of Star Wars: The Clone Wars (or as editor Michael Kabel calls seeing it, “penance”) and a look ahead to the fall and winter movie seasons. You know, the good stuff.

Here’s the Sex Pistols playing us out, in a 1978 live performance of  “Holidays In The Sun.” Now we got a reason!

 

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Appaloosa Trailer Promises 100% Badass Western

Ed Harris and Viggo Mortensen hit the old dusty trail(er).

It’s a sure sign of Fall when the film trailers you find online start using longer takes and have less explosions. For example, autumn audiences get to see Ed Harris and Viggo Mortensen, who last teamed for 2006’s excellent A History of Violence, helm the Western drama Appaloosa. Moreover, the film marks Harris’ first time directing since 2000’s Pollock, which garnered a shitload of awards and nominations.

Appaloosa’s premise reads like Lonesome Dove meets The Magnificent Seven: two friends are brought in to serve as police on behalf of a small town opressed by the local rancher (Jeremy Irons).  It’s based on a novel by Robert B. Parker, the guy that writes the Jesse Stone and Spencer mysteries, and also includes Renee Zellweger and Lance Henriksen in its rugged cast.

Not to complain, but the following preview trailer reminds us a lot of Open Range, which all Kevin Costner jokes aside was a pretty good film. And just to make sense of the title, Appaloosa is the name of the town, which in turn is named for a breed of horse known for its leopard spotted coat. Western afficionados as well as Viggo’s legions of fans (read: women) can check the film out October 3.

 

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Isaac Hayes: 1943-2008

Pioneering songwriter, producer and actor dead at 65.

Isaac Hayes, the groundbreaking soul and R&B composer and performer who won an Academy Award for his theme to the 1971 blaxploitation classic Shaft, was found dead Sunday at his Mempis, TN home. He was 65 years old. The cause of death is not immediately apparent.

Raised in poverty on the outskirts of Memphis, after playing in local bands Hayes found work as an in-house songwriter and producer at the city’s legendary STAX records label. Along with partner David Porter, he composed or produced hits for many of the label’s most famous artists, including “Soul Man” and “Hold On, I’m Coming” for Sam and Dave and “B-A-B-Y” for Carla Thomas. Known as “The Soul Children,” Hayes and Porter would work on over 200 songs for various STAX artists such as Otis Redding, Booker T and the MG’s, and Johnnie Taylor.

But it was his second solo album as a performer, 1969’s Hot Buttered Soul, that gave Hayes his own breakthrough. Expansive in structure and embracing jazz, funk, and rock elements, the album established him as a creative force and demonstrated the versatility of the emerging soul music genre to a wider audience. Two years later, his soundtrack to Shaft produced a worldwide hit in its theme song and made Hayes the first African-American to win the Oscar in a non-acting category. Later that year he released Black Moses, another milestone in soul music. In 1975 he and STAX parted company in a dispute over royalty rights. By mid-decade he embraced the burgeoning disco genre, releasing albums such as Disco Connection and Juicy Fruit.

Hayes appeared in Shaft in a small role, but his lead performance in Truck Turner  in 1974 started an acting career that would last until his death, including roles in films such as Escape From New York, Hustle & Flow, and Robin Hood: Men In Tights. His TV appearances included guest or recurring roles on The Rockford Files, Miami Vice, Stargate: SG-1, and dozens of others. But it was his role as Chef, the laid back cook on the animated South Park, that introduced Hayes to a new generation of fans. He appeared on the show for more than eight years, until objections over an episode lampooning Scientology caused him to abuptly leave in 2006.

Outside of South Park, Hayes’ fortunes remained mixed. A series of recording comebacks through the 1980s and 90s never gathered momentum; a nightclub adjacent to Memphis’ famed Beale Street failed to sustain business. But he continued working throughout: suffering a stroke in January 2006, he nevertheless appeared in a public service announcement for the nonprofit Youth For Human Rights International organization the following month. He was also active in the One campaign to fight AIDS and poverty.

At the time of his death Hayes was working both on a new album and had appeared in a new feature film titled Soul Men, co-starring Bernie Mac and Samuel L. Jackson. He is survived by his twelve children, fourteen grandchildren, and three great-grandchildren. By way of tribute to his life and works, the following video shows him performing the “Theme From Shaft” at STAX’s legendary 1973 Wattstax concert showcase.

Review: Pineapple Express

Apatow and company fire up a skunk.

Pineapple Express is the big summer movie many have been waiting for: the one where Judd Apatow’s camp finally and irredeemably misses the mark. Co-written by Evan Goldberg and star Seth Rogen (from a story by Apatow and Rogen & Goldberg), the film lacks the sense of innocence that made the raunchy zaniness of the duo’s previous offering Superbad so charming.  Instead, viewers are treated to a rambling and repetitive mess of a picture that consistently fails to entertain.

This time around Rogen plays Dale Denton, a habitually stoned process server who obtains a unique strain of marijuana (the Pineapple Express of the title) from his brain-fried dealer Saul (James Franco).  In the most contrived plot device you’ll see this year, Rogen must serve papers on the local drug kingpin Ted (Gary Cole), only to witness him and a policewoman (Rosie Perez) murder a member of a rival gang.  Later identified by the super-rare joint that he dropped at the scene, Dale must go into hiding with Saul in tow, and along the way a codependent bromance  blossoms between this odd couple. 

Hilarity should ensue, but it doesn’t.  After an insufferable hour of uninspired stoner humor (read: lots of confused screaming), Pineapple Express actually manages to descend into a thoroughly mindless buddy action film with a body count to rival Kill Bill.  It’s a schizophrenic jumble of two wholly dissimilar films that director David Gordon Green never remotely glues into a coherent whole.  The film’s selling point of course is its sophomoric humor; the problem is, this time it’s not funny.  The Apatow camp seems to pride itself on pushing the envelope, but in Pineapple Express the positively telegraphed jokes are so predictable, so obvious and so formulaic as to destroy any pretense of risk by the filmmakers.  (You can probably already guess the one-liner that Dale delivers upon finally defeating the bad guys.)  And the light-hearted depiction of violence in the final act is simply cynical and irresponsible.  On the plus side, the low-brow shenanigans contain remarkably little toilet humor.

Maybe less surprisingly, the sentiment beneath the jokes feels too familiar. Apatow’s films have distinguished themselves from other bawdy comedies through the endearing sensitivity of their self-destructive characters.  If one simply wants outrageous gross-out humor, the Farrelly brothers provide such laughs better than anyone, and even the preposterously banal Harold and Kumar movies at least managed to be unpredictable.  But Pineapple Express develops the relationships as faithfully by the numbers as it delivers the vacant punch lines. We know that Dale and Saul will split up, only to inevitably realize that they’re best pals and save each other in the end, because we’ve seen the exact same thing before – so why follow the same strict formula again?  Superbad seemed to stand out because of the characters’ naïveté, yet after watching the same notes played again and again in Pineapple Express, perhaps it was the audience that was naïve.

It’s no surprise then that Rogen’s Dale is alternately cuddly and flustered, and that particular brand of schtick is beginning to wear thin (especially given his involvement in crafting such incoherent chaos).  Franco deserves some credit for playing completely against type, but he never registers anything beyond muddled neediness.  For that matter, the background is littered with talented character actors (including Kevin Corrigan, The Office’s Craig Robinson, and of course Cole, who’s nicely succeeded the late J.T. Walsh in playing mean white guys) who all seem miscast or at least misdirected, filling roles that do not play to their strengths.  Ed Begley, Jr. alone manages to shine as the father of Dale’s teenaged girlfriend, but his character is tiny in comparison to the drug supplier played charmlessly by Danny R. McBride.

Not having seen the film “under the influence,” I’m sure I missed something that the filmmakers believed they were accomplishing during the film’s development.  One shouldn’t have to distort one’s own perceptions to be able to enjoy a film though, and yet Pineapple Express is still as disappointing as any chemically-induced crash.

- Stephen Kabel

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Dog Day Afternoons At the Cineplex

As the Summer of Superheroes winds down, we look at what’s still to arrive in theatres.

Studios are almost certainly looking ahead to Christmas already, when they can reap in profits all over again as Iron Man, Indiana Jones, and The Dark Knight make their DVD and Blu-Ray debuts. But that’s a long way off, and in the meantime we have the traditional August scrap heap of new releases to wade through.

Conventional studio wisdom is that, as people go on vacations and resign themselves to another year of school, movie theatre attendance diminishes. (Time was, they used to dump their worst movies into theatres at Thanksgiving – hence the term “turkey” to refer to a box office failure.) So, the end of summer is the time when you see fading stars, risky box office propositions, and films that otherwise carry little studio confidence.

It’s still possible, of course, that some films will surprise the critics and public alike. But with scant few exceptions the major studio offerings look middling at best and dreadful at worst. The month got off to a pitch-perfect start last week, when the thoroughly unnecessary sequel The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor failed to dislodge Batman from his penthouse atop the box office receipts. The rest of the new releases don’t look any more promising.

Hell Ride: Hollywood, look: Pulp Fiction was fourteen years ago. Tarantino isn’t the auteur or box office guarantee we all expected him to become, and his love for trash-for-trash’s-sake cinema has long ago become schtick. His executive producing this big-budget B-movie by Larry Bishop (who made two decent neo-noirs in the 90s, Underworld and the charmingly weird Mad Dog Time) seems just more of the same product as his giant flop Grindhouse. Admittedly, there’s a market for this kind of raunchy diversion, in a sweaty-palmed retro boutique sort of way. But Hell Ride, about a war betwen biker gangs or some such drivel, already has an October release date for its inevitable “Unrated Director’s Edition” DVD. If you can’t wait that long… actually yeah, you can wait. Limited release Aug 8.

Sleazy Riders: Madsen, Bishop, Balfour

Pineapple Express: Judd Apatow and company have been on a winning streak for so long now that it’s almost become suspenseful waiting for the backlash. Maybe this stoner comedy/murder mystery will be the tipping point; maybe it won’t. On the plus side, there’s Apatow’s Midas touch, a cast full of comedy ringers, and that Seth Rogen’s charm hasn’t quite worn off yet. On the down side, the story looks off-puttingly self-congratulatory, and Harold and Kumar have kind of locked down the stoner bud movie niche. Wide release Aug 08

The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants 2: A nice reward for surviving the first week of school, it’s the same kind of harmless crowd pleaser as Mamma Mia, and its four comely stars amount to a Murderer’s Row of chick-TV inegnues. The audience’s parents will pick them up at the mall exit near the Bojangles after the film. Wide release August 8.

Bottle Shock: Hey, remember Sideways? Consider this a second glass. The comparisons seem inevitable in this indie about a small California vineyard in 1976 that enters a blind tasting competition, hoping to upset the usual French winners. Director Randall Miller might be the next indie darling after the film’s warm reception at Sundance and thanks to an ensemble cast that includes Alan Rickman, Bill Pullman, Dennis Farina, Eliza Dushku and Freddy Rodriguez. Limited release Aug 6.

Star Wars: The Clone Wars: Taking place between Attack of the Clones and Revenge of the Sith, this new installment further develops Anakin Skywalker’s travel to the Dark Side of the Force. It’s probably going to be a nice treat for the Star Wars fans who liked the prequels but wished they were made in unsightly, awkard computer animation instead. Is it a bad sign that neither Hayden Christensen nor Ewan McGregor lend their voices to their animated counterparts? Christopher Lee and Samuel L. Jackson apparently found the time, however. The action figures are already in place at Target and Wal-Mart. Wide release Aug 15.

Tropic Thunder: Could anyone five years ago have predicted that Robert Downey, Jr. would bring more goodwill to a comedy than Ben Stiller or Jack Black? This high-concept adventure about movie stars lost in a jungle without a clue may represent a last chance for fading stars Stiller and Black, both of whom have seen their film cred wane after too many paycheck roles. Stiller directs, but he also directed his 2001 hit Zoolander, and if Pineapple Express doesn’t resonate with audiences this might be the hit he could use after the execrable The Heartbreak Kid. Wide release Aug 13.

Days of Thunder: Stiller, Black, Downey, Jr.

Death Race: Putting B-movie meat rack Jason Statham into an “update” of the 70s cult classic Death Race 2000 seems so obvious it’s sort of surprising they haven’t done it already. Basically, this new version  of the titular cross-country race is The Running Man crossed with NASCAR. Joan Allen and Ian McShane also appear and should know better. Directed by Paul W.S. Anderson, who’s responsible for the Resident Evil films. Wide release Aug 22.

Traitor: An FBI agent (Guy Pearce) investigates a former special ops agent (Don Cheadle) who may be working for terrorist organizations – or is he? We never seem to see enough of either Pearce or Cheadle, and the Bourne Identity meets Syriana plot contortions have us intrigued. Wide release August 29.

- Michael Kabel

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The Flash: Lightning Strikes

A plot and cast to help DC Comics get the long-awaited comic adaptation moving again.

Now that The Dark Knight has raked in more money than Jesus, Warner Brothers is reportedly looking to bring as many of DC Comics’ stable of heroes as possible to the big screen in a big hurry. Eli Stone showrunner Marc Guggenheim has turned in a script for a Green Lantern movie, and there was plenty of speculation on the Interweb last week that Dark Knight scribe David Goyer’s Green Arrow-led Super Max may get the fast track treatment.

But DC’s had another project stalled in development for several years now: the super-speed hero The Flash, who while eluding the widespread popularity of Batman and Superman has remained one of the company’s most durable franchises for close to seventy years. IMDB currently has a film slated for a 2010 release date, but we remember when the date was 2005. With that in mind, here are our suggestions for making the movie right. Hopefully, they’ll speed things up on DC’s end (so to speak.)

The Plot: College student Wally West grew up as the speed-powered sidekick to Barry Allen, the Flash of the previous generation. When Allen vanished on a mission with the Justice League, West gave up his Kid Flash identity and settled into a normal teenage existence. Five years later, several of his old enemies have resurfaced, igniting a crime wave through Central City. Better organized and less impulsive than Batman’s villains or Superman’s adversaries, this “Rogues Gallery” carries out crimes with exact speed and precision, as if guided by a central intelligence.

West is recruited to help by Jay Garrick, the original Flash from before Allen’s time. To do so, West must learn to use his own speed all over again, tapping into the Speed Force energy dimension like never before, to become faster than the intelligence guiding the villains – effectively running faster than the bad guys can think.

The Director: I’m hardly alone in saying this, but there’s nothing on the resume of currently-attached director David Dobkin (Wedding Crashers, Fred Claus) to suggest he’s qualified for an action movie in which the hero’s abilities rest on breaking the laws of physics. Basically, Dobkin’s made three films with Vince Vaughn – two of which were terrrible – and the little-loved Shanghai Knights. Warner Brothers should re-sign Goyer to direct, as he was three years ago, or get someone known for high-adrenalin actioners. Either Joe Carnahan (Smokin’ Aces) or Len Wiseman (Underworld) could convingingly bring the high-velocity effects to life.

The Cast:

Jamie Bell as Wally West: A role connected for years with Ryan Reynolds, West has to be both youthful and mature at the same time. Bell tried his best not to steal every scene in the recent Jumper from Hayden Christensen – and it happened anyway. So he’s used to working with special effects believably, and he even looks the part. 

Terry O’Quinn as Jay Garrick: Playing the Obi-Wan Kenobi to West’s Luke Skywalker, Garrick was the original Flash during World War II and until passing the torch to Barry Allen. Kept comparitively youthful by the Speed Force, he’s come out of retirement to help West get back on track. Nobody plays serene, almost cocky calm like O’Quinn (Lost), and he’d be great in a Jedi Master role such as this.

Anthony Edwards as Barry Allen: Hero, scientist, and legend even among other heroes, Allen is the kind of father figure that’s almost impossible to measure up to. Edwards honed his steady-handed mentor skills during all those years on ER, and he has the Midwestern reserved gravitas to boot.

Joan Allen as Iris Allen: Allen’s widow and West’s loving aunt, Iris is a crusading journalist and the conscience of all three Flashes. Allen, who can agree to this role if she can stoop to appear in Death Race, has played similarly strong women in The Bourne Ultimatum and The Contender.

Grace Park as Linda Park: Continuing the nifty coincidence that the Flashs’ love interests be played by actresses with the same last name, Linda Park is a young med student and West’s true romance. Born in Korea but educated in Central City, Missouri, she’s both exotic beauty and the girl next door. Grace Park never really got a chance to relax and play sweet on Battlestar Galactica, and she’s got the poise and charm for the role.

Paul Guilfoyle as Captain Cold. The leader of the Rogues, Leonard Snart is a blue-collar crook who rules the villain fraternity with an iron fist. He’s smart, obstinate, and yet carries a weird sense of honor that prohibits killing and admits a grudging but deep respect for the fallen Allen. Guilfoyle has played pugnacious cops and crooks for two decades, but never one with a gun that freezes all the moisture in any given room.

Sam Rockwell as The Weather Wizard: Vain and obnoxious, the Weather Wizard has a wand that controls… guess what. Disliked even by his fellow Rogues, his selfish jackass persona is a part Rockwell (Confessions of A Dangerous Mind, Matchstick Men) routinely plays with snakelike perfection.

Robert Carlyle as The Mirror Master: Possessing one of the creepier gimmicks in comics, Scottish thug Evan McCulloch uses mirrors to move between dimensions, hypnotize victims, and appear anywhere instantly. He’s also got a cocaine habit that keeps him hiding secrets from his fellow Rogues and carrying out crime-for-hire work on the side. So yeah, he’s basically Francis Begbie as a supervillain.

John C. Reilly as Heat Wave: Anguished and self-loathing, as a boy Mick Rory’s pyromania led him to burn down his family’s house – while they were still inside. Now equipped with a flamethrowing pistol and gallons of propellant strapped to his back, he’s the least malicious of the Rogues but, thanks to his obsession, also the most dangerous. Reilly (The Perfect Storm, Magnolia) specializes in portraying slow-boiling anguish, and seeing him play off the other Rogues, especially natural antagonist Captain Cold, could drive the group’s dramatic tension.

Michael Wincott as Gorilla Grodd (voice): Grodd is literally the 800-lb gorilla in the room, a super-evolved ape with telepathy and mind-control powers that wants to kill the entire human race so that his own gorilla nation can replace us. Seriously, what better Big Bad than an evil, mind-controlling ape? Though sorely missing from movie screens in recent years, Wincott (Strange Days, The Count of Monte Crisco) has the gravelly growl to make what could be an otherwise silly character become deadly serious.

- Michael Kabel

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